Preparing Your Children for the Big Move!

Emigrating with children can be quite a challenge for any family and we have detailed some handy tips to help alleviate some of the problems a family may encounter. Having said this, your children will probably be far more relaxed about the big move and less stressed than you are, and can’t wait to settle into their new environment.

Communication

• Discuss the idea of moving to a new country early on in the process, this will give your child time to get used to the idea and for you to address any questions or worries your child may have.
• Be totally honest when answering any worries (leaving best friends, favourite cousin or school behind)
• Treat negative feelings from your child with sympathy
• Be honest about your feelings and discuss how you coped with any changes at their age
• Be aware of any changes in your child’s behaviour and look out for signs of stress – particularly if they become anxious or withdrawn
• Involve them in the planning and decision making – for example, plan out what their new room will look like or involve them in looking for a new school.

Babies and Toddlers

Children who are under six will be easier to move than older children will. They may not have developed close friendships or have a close knit group of friends. However, they will be less able to articulate their feelings than older children, and here are some useful tips which can help avoid any feelings of confusion or anxiety:

• Make sure that your child is reassured that toys that are packed will be returned on arrival, and you aren’t just throwing them away.
• Young children feel more secure when they are in familiar surroundings. It may be a good idea to pack some of their bedroom furniture to make them feel more at home in their new surroundings.
• Once you have settled, you could discuss the possibility of new furniture, like a new bed.
• You may feel that arranging their new room in a similar way to their old room may make them feel more at home.
• Consider delaying any major change such as moving them from a cot to a bed, or toilet/potty training until they settle into their new home.
• Consider asking a close relative or friend to look after your child during the actual move.

School Age Children

Children in early primary school aren’t as flexible as younger children. However, they may be more able to communicate their feelings better and with your support will be able to experience a smooth transition. Children of primary and early secondary schooling could be more enthusiastic about the challenges of moving. Here are some tips which may help:

• Consider moving in the middle of the school year. Your children will have more opportunity to make friends more quickly, rather than having the whole summer to live through!
• If your child is shy, you may want to consider moving during school holidays to let them get used to their new surroundings first. They may not appreciate the limelight for being the “new kid at school” before they’ve been given a chance to settle into their new home.
• Consider keeping to the same mealtimes and bedtimes. Children often feel reassured with familiar routine.

Teenagers

Don’t be surprised if your teenager has more difficulty getting used to the idea of emigrating than your younger children. Remember that they are more aware of what is happening than younger children are and they have probably spent a lot of time building up close friendships or they may have a romantic relationship. This can lead them to rebel or refuse to move with you.

Here are some tips that you may find useful:

• Consider avoiding statements of reassurance such as “you’ll make lots of new people” that may not necessarily happen
• Listen to their fears and concerns, and discuss any changes you had to make at their age.
• Consider planning a trip back home after you have settled so that they can see their friends again
• Consider allowing them flexibility in planning their new room that they can retreat to, particularly during the initial weeks in your new country.

Stay positive and the rest of your family will be reassured!